Sharing What I Learn

Anger Management

03/17/2013 20:51:00

Anger is one of the most common and destructive delusions, and it afflicts our mind almost every day. To solve the problem of anger we first need to recognize the anger within our mind, acknowledge how it harms both ourself and others, and appreciate the benefits of being patient in the face of difficulties. We then need to apply practical methods in our daily life to reduce our anger and finally to prevent it from arising at all.What is anger?Anger is a deluded mind that focuses on an animate or inanimate object, feels it to be unattractive, exaggerates its bad qualities, and wishes to harm it. For example, when we are angry with our partner, at that moment he or she appears to us as unattractive or unpleasant. We then exaggerate his bad qualities by focusing only on those aspects that irritate us and ignoring all his good qualities and kindness, until we have built up a mental image of an intrinsically faulty person. We then wish to harm him in some way, probably by criticizing or disparaging him.

Because it is based on an exaggeration, anger is an unrealistic mind

Because it is based on an exaggeration, anger is an unrealistic mind; the intrinsically faulty person or thing that it focuses on does not in fact exist. Moreover, as we shall see, anger is also an extremely destructive mind that serves no useful purpose whatsoever. Having understood the nature and disadvantages of anger, we then need to watch our mind carefully at all times in order to recognize it whenever it begins to arise.This explanation of how to overcome our anger through practising patience is based on Guide to the Bodhisattva’s Way of Life, the famous poem by the great Buddhist Master Shantideva. Though composed over a thousand years ago, this is one of the clearest and most powerful explanations of the subject ever written, and is just as relevant today as it was then.

We ALL have the wish to stop suffering and to feel better.

12/12/2012 15:28:00

Alex Stadler, LCSW is a Mindfulness-based Cognitibe Behavioral Therapist who has been helping New Yorkers (and internationally via Skype video sessions) since 2000.

We ALL have the wish to stop suffering and to feel better.

We suffer when our disturbing thoughts (worries, irritability, sadness, images, voices, addictive behaviors, etc.) are out of control.
Sadness about the past, worries about the future, anger or irritability about the present, or painful memories about the past may have left you with an addiction, experiencing sleepless nights or eating problems.
Generally, my clients are ordinary people who find themselves challenged with common problems:

You realize there is a problem, and your solutions are only partially working.
You know something needs to change, and you're not sure how to start.
You want someone to talk with, without worrying about others' reactions or judgments.

Alex can teach you mindfulness techniques that are proven to stop your out-of-control thoughts moment by moment, quickly and relatively easily. When you begin to feel a little calmer, you can come to believe that it is possible to feel totally calm.
I can also teach you to deepen your mindfulness techniques using a process that is called meditation.
Meditation is a process where you get familiar with your mind's thinking behavior patterns. Meditation can show you that you are not your thoughts. Meditation can teach you how to change your thoughts, moment-by-moment. When you can change your thoughts, you can change your mind. When you can change your mind, then you can your world.
I will guide you step-by-step towards establishing a personal meditation program that is proven to provide you long-lasting relief from your out-of-control thoughts. I can teach you to meditate in the relative quiet of your home and in the middle of your hectic daily race.
Recent research provides conclusive evidence that mindfulness exercises and meditation lead to a decrease in thought and feeling dis-regulation. In other words, the regular use of mindfulness and meditation will help you to get your thoughts under your control.
That means less experience of anger, sadness, anxiety, and painful memories. That also means better sleep, relationships, and work performance.
You can eventually decrease your dependence upon prescription medications, too.
If you are already under the care of a Psychiatrist and taking prescription medications, you should be able to gradually decrease the symptoms you experience as well as the dosage and/or frequency of medication you are prescribed.

By Appointment Only: 917-691-4574 OR alex@effectivetherapynyc.net

no insurance, reimbursable by insurance, sliding scale fees

Do you like what you do?

11/23/2012 19:23:00

Maybe you should join the millions of us who have had multiple careers- the AVERAGE number of careers for the US is FIVE (5)! F-I-V-E! What is holding you back? I can help you break down the barriers to your ideal life, so you can envision your next career move. Watch this today and begin to question your current life... Call me for a free phone consultation, and we can set up an appointment...917-691-4574...confidential professional Midtown Manhattan office & Long distance Skype Video sessions available!

Counseling Can Help You!

10/16/2012 10:42:00

What You Think Changes Who You Are. You may find yourself trapped in negative thought patterns, saying things to yourself like: 'I'll never get that job,' 'They don't like me,' 'I am ugly,' or 'I'm so stupid!' You become these self-statements, despite the fact that you aren't any of these statements all the time, if ever. That's not to say that you don't mess up. But, and this is important, you are not your thoughts or your mistakes. An article in Scientific American illustrates this concept: http://tinyurl.com/8zu6kx3
Counseling can help YOU. Believe that YOU can be helped. Believe it. Many of my clients have believed it, and they are feeling better about themselves today. Some after even just a few sessions. Visit my website:http://effectivetherapynyc.net, call me: 917-691-4574 or Email me:info@effectivetherapynyc.net. I can teach you the skills you need to change how you think. Change your mind, Change your world.

Lose Weight and Keep it Off!

10/15/2012 13:41:00

You can lose weight and Keep it Off!

Increasingly, you can search for and find multitudes of articles by researchers and biochemists who are saying unequivocally that if we stop abusing refined sugar, we will experience many health benefits. Some even go further. My own experience has been profound. For reasons totally unrelated to weight loss, I stopped eating all forms of refined sugar for 4 weeks, and very quickly I lost 20 lbs. Twenty Pounds. 20. It was difficult initially, as I had to read labels, and I had to cut out snacking on sweets made with refined sugar (corn syrup, high fructose corn syrup, etc.). I also cut out all refined flours (white, wheat, etc.) and I cut out yeast products (breads, packaged, processed foods.). This sounds extreme, I know. I wasn't even trying to lose weight. And, I did this along with an available over-the-health food store-counter cleanse. And, I did this extreme deprivation for only 35 days. Just 35 days. I have since tried to maintain a variety in my diet when it comes to whole grain breads, and to limit myself to unprocessed foods, but I have not kept up this regimen as well as I'd have liked. All the same, I have kept the 20 lbs off for the past 2 years. Two Years. I use Stevia (use just enough, not too much, so it isn't bitter) as much as possible, instead of all the other sweeteners (honey and agave, included). I try to eat yeast free breads, which, when toasted, are pretty good. Some are even naturally sweet without any sweetener. This wasn't easy. Especially the cutting out of snacks. But, my training in mindfulness-based cognitive therapy helped me, with no other supports necessary. I have kept the 20 lbs off and I can help you do it, too!

here is an article:

http://www.ucsf.edu/news/2009/06/8187/obesity-and-metabolic-syndrome-driven-fructose-sugar-diet

here is a video:

http://youtu.be/dBnniua6-oM

If you would like help losing weight, contact me:

email: info@effectivetherapynyc.net

call me: 917-691-4574

Sleeplessness No More!

10/15/2012 13:16:00

If you suffer from sleepless nights, you can benefit from counseling. In November 2007, the NY Times printed an article saying just that. I have already helped many of my clients improve their sleep patterns. This has resulted in decreased dependence upon caffeine for wakefulness, decreased irritability and short temper, higher frustration tolerance, improved mood, improved relationships with a partner, improved sex life, and improved work performance.

The NY Times article:

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/11/05/curing-insomnia-without-the-pills/

If you or someone you know would benefit from talking to a professional, refer them to my website: http://effectivetherapynyc.net/

or, have them call me: 917-691-4574

or email me: info@effectivetherapynyc.net

You may benefit from Professional Counseling

10/15/2012 11:02:00

There are some indicators that you would benefit from counseling or therapy. Some issues are more serious than others. You will have to decide for yourself.

If any of the following sounds familiar, visit my website: http://effectivetherapynyc.net/, email me: info@effectivetherapynyc.net or call me 917-691-4574.

Ask yourself some important questions:Do you find yourself feeling negative and irritable all the time?

> You can learn how to maintain a positive mind, so you can handle the little and big things equally.

Do you find yourself worrying about mistakes you made in the past or mistakes you could make in the future?

> You can learn how to let go of the past, so you can enjoy life in the present.

You know how your mind races when you are trying to get to sleep, keeping you up most of the night, making it difficult to go to work the next morning?

> You can learn how to stop the racing thoughts, so you can fall asleep when you want to.

Do you have difficulty getting out of bed, are you avoiding social events, feeling low energy, wishing people would leave you alone?

> You can learn how to change your mind, so you feel optimistic about all of your experiences.
You know how arguments can tend to get out of control, lasting for days, weeks, months, or even years? > You can learn how to resolve old disagreements, and stop arguments before they begin.

You know how you can obsess over the events from your past or upcoming meetings or holidays with family, and you are having trouble enjoying your life?

> You can learn how to take control of your thoughts.

> You can learn how to become more present.

> You can learn how to enjoy all of your activities.

If any of this sounds familiar, and you would like to discuss counseling, visit my website: http://effectivetherapynyc.net/, email me: info@effectivetherapynyc.net or call me 917-691-4574.

Military or Gov't Jobs can be a risk to your confidentiality

09/11/2012 17:23:00

*please read this important article (click on this link or read below) concerning your confidentiality and further evidence of why I do not accept insurance.*

The following is sample from the NPR article above:

To get security clearance for jobs in the military or the government, applicants must say whether they've undergone counseling in recent years. Some experts say this question — known as Question 21 — is discouraging people from applying for jobs or from getting help.

if you need help or know someone who does please refer them.

Visit Alex Stadler, LCSW at

www.effectivetherapynyc.net

Call me: 917-691-4574 or info@effectivetherapynyc.com

I can show you how to tame your anger, anxiety, depression, painful memories, and uncontrolled mood, as well as sleep problems. You can regain control of your life.

Online Video Sessions Available!

09/07/2012 10:47:00

In light of the challenge of urban professionals' busy schedules, Alex Stadler, LCSW, offers online video Skype, Google Video Chat and iChat sessions.

Call or Email to schedule an appointment:

917-691-4574

info@effectivetherapynyc.net

www.effectivetherapynyc.net

I can show you how to tame your anger, anxiety, depression, painful memories, uncontrolled mood, and sleeping problems. You can regain control of your life.

Loneliness is painful.

08/27/2012 09:14:00

Loneliness is painful, but it is just a temporary condition of the mind. Your thoughts are the conditions of your mind, and thankfully, you can change your thoughts. Reading this, your thoughts have changed for this moment. Thinking about how you sense and feel your body in your chair has changed your thoughts for the moment. When you change your thoughts, you change your mind. This happens moment-by-moment. Moment-by-moment our thoughts are changing, and therefore our mind is changing moment-by-moment, as well. When you change your mind, you are changing the conditions of your mind. There is no difference between the conditions of your mind and the conditions of your world. When you have changed the conditions of your mind, you will notice that your conditions have changed, as well... and your loneliness will be eliminated...slowly...moment-by-moment.

But, don't take my word for it, experience this for yourself. Meditate on this and you will come to your own conclusion.

If you are having trouble beginning a meditation practice on your own, I can help. I will show you how to meditate with your specific issues in mind.

Here is an article that you may find interesting:

http://preview.tinyurl.com/95uq47o

Contact me to schedule an initial consultation, and we can create a personal solution for you together.

Visit my website: www.effectivetherapynyc.net

Call me: 917-691-4574

Write to me: info@effectivetherapynyc.com

I can show you how to tame your sleeping problems, anger, anxiety, depression, painful memories, and uncontrolled mood. You can regain control of your life.